– By Charlotte Budd, EIDA Ambassador and founder of L.A.D.A
Domestic abuse does not stay at home. It follows victim-survivors into every part of their lives, including the workplace. For many who share parental responsibilities for children with the person who abused them, the most challenging and traumatic stage of leaving an abusive relationship is not the moment they walk out the door, but the long, complex journey that follows through the family court system.
Why I created L.A.D.A – Life After Domestic Abuse
L.A.D.A was born from my own journey as a survivor of domestic abuse and my experience of the family court system. After leaving an abusive situation, I expected life to get easier, but instead I found myself traumatised over and over again by the legal process. I entered the family courts as a litigant in-person, with no legal knowledge, no guidance, and no understanding of my rights. I was overwhelmed, frightened, and completely unprepared for what lay ahead. This leaves victims at a huge disadvantage, not just legally but in the imbalance in power in having to face the person who has inflicted the abuse in the first place.
No one should have to go through that alone.
I created L.A.D.A as a free, accessible tool to support victims at the very beginning of their family court journey. My goal is to bring clarity to a system that often feels confusing and intimidating, especially for those who are already dealing with trauma. L.A.D.A offers straightforward information, practical guidance, and emotional reassurance for people who are trying to navigate the courts without legal representation.
L.A.D.A exists because I don’t want another victim-survivor ever to feel as lost, silenced, or unsupported as I once did. It’s a space built from lived experience, compassion, and the belief that knowledge can be a lifeline.
Looking back, I often thought, “I wish someone had been there to guide me. Someone to explain my rights. Someone to help me feel even the smallest level of safety inside that courtroom.”
This guide was created to be that support for others – a practical, grounding resource for anyone entering a system that can feel secretive, confusing, and emotionally exhausting.
Alongside the L.A.D.A tool, I run a regularly updated educational blog that breaks down key topics, shares insights, and helps victim-survivors feel informed and empowered.
Why this matters for employers
Employees experiencing domestic abuse may also be navigating the family court system at the same time. This can affect their wellbeing, concentration, attendance, and mental health. Understanding this context helps employers to respond with empathy rather than judgement.
Survivors may be:
- Managing court deadlines, hearings, and paperwork, and attending hearings, requiring time off work.
- Facing ongoing contact with the person who abused them through court ordered processes.
- Reliving trauma through providing statements, evidence, and cross-examination.
- Coping with fear, uncertainty, and the emotional toll of protecting their children.
- Trying to maintain work performance while dealing with overwhelming stress.
When employers understand the pressures of family court, they are better equipped to offer meaningful support – whether through flexible working, signposting to specialist services, or simply creating a workplace culture where survivors feel safe to disclose their experience and know they will be met with understanding.
How the family court system can affect survivors
The family court process can be deeply challenging for those who have experienced domestic abuse. Some of the key issues include:
- Survivors may have to represent themselves given lack of legal aid.
- Court processes can require ongoing contact with the abuser.
- Cross-examination by the abuser (or vice versa) can retraumatise survivors.
- The system is often slow, causing prolonged stress and uncertainty.
- The experience of family courts can often make survivors feel isolated.
- Survivors may feel disbelieved or minimised, especially in cases involving coercive control.
- Child contact decisions can feel unsafe or out of survivors’ control.
- The emotional toll can impact mental health, sleep, and the ability to function at work.
Understanding these pressures helps employers recognise why a victim-survivor may need compassion, flexibility, and support.
A practical resource for those who need it
The Family Court Guide was created to offer clarity in a system that often feels impenetrable. It is not a substitute for legal advice, but it provides grounding, reassurance, and a starting point for victim-survivors who feel overwhelmed.
Its purpose is simple: To help even one person feel less alone, less frightened, and more supported than I once felt.
When employers understand the realities of both domestic abuse and the family court system, they become part of a victim-survivor’s safety network and sometimes the only stable support they have. For the victim-survivor, support from their employer and the ability to stay in work may be crucial to their ability to rebuild their lives.
Further Resources:
